Bulldog or Beaver?
Being a dual citizen can screw with your sense of
identity.
Last night when I was at work at the bar, during a
conversation where England came up, one of my regular customers said the phrase
“your people” to me when he was referring to Brits. This got me pondering why it
is that some people recognize that part of me and some people don’t.
When I was well into my adult years and living in Canada again
I made the conscious decision to identify as Canadian. I monitored my transatlantic
accent more carefully so I had fewer slips when around English accents. It makes me shudder to hear a North American affecting a British accent, or what I call the Madonna Accent.
Ugh. I
started answering the question “Where are you from?” with the answer “I was
mostly raised in Canada”. I used to answer rather verbosely, while trying to be
accurate, something like “Well, I was born in England but we emigrated when I
was young, and after a few trips back and forth, settled mainly in Canada,
although every summer we visited.” I didn’t want to let go of my claim on
England, my own Englishness; I needed people to know that was part of who I
identified as.
The customer I mentioned is from Fiji and a long time
Canadian. He knows what dual citizenship is like. I also have a Jamaican/Canadian
customer and a couple of British/Canadian friends who talk to me about England
as though I’m British. Which I am! But most single-citizenship Canadians look
doubtfully at me when I talk about the English part of my life experience. I certainly feel more Canadian than English. My accent is certainly
more consistently Canadian.
I anticipate that after being back in England for some
amount of time, I may have to reassess my self-identity. Will I feel more or
less British when I live there? I honestly don’t know what to expect.
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