The TransAtlantic Accent

I have two very clear memories from school of my accent and my word choices. One was when I was in the school play and one of my lines had the word “record” in it, as in a vinyl LP. I was standing on stage rehearsing and I said “reck-ORd” and my classmates giggled at me. I was corrected by the teacher/director to say “reck-ERd”. The other memory was when I asked a fellow student in class if I could borrow his rubber. I meant eraser, but the whole room broke out in shocked laughter. There is a stage in life when nothing is more mortifying than being laughed at, so I made sure there weren’t many other incidents like this; I corrected my accent and started speaking more consistently like a Canadian, at least at school.

Which makes me recall another memory a little later. My brother hadn’t cut the grass for a while and I thought it was unfair that this was either a ‘boy’ job, or I was too young. I’d much rather cut the grass than wash the dishes. I remember clearly asking my mother “If Jonathan isn’t going to do it, can I cut the grASS?” She looked at me and said “grAHss. And no.” 

So, there I was caught between two accents. Laughed at in school or sternly corrected at home. My peers at school won out, and I think that this is how it always goes. No matter a child’s heritage, where they are living when they are in those formative years of about 10 to 15 years old is what will decide their accent, not what their family sounds like.

Even though my accent became more Canadian, I still had people asking me where I was from. For years this happened, but it has gotten more and more rare recently. This was a very conscious choice on my part to ensure I didn’t sound like Madonna. Oh my god. Don’t get me started on her stupid I-married-a-Brit-and-lived-in-England-even-though-I’m-from-Michigan faux British accent. I would rather sound Canadian and lose a bit more of my Britishness than sounds like that! I have been teased by many people that I can be carrying on in my normal accent, but when I pick up the phone and talk to my parents, my accents shifts slightly but noticeably to the British long vowels. This made me start to feel like a bit of a phony. A Madonna! So I consciously Canadianize my speech all the time, even when talking to Brits. 

I’ve heard about this transatlantic accent before, but I can assure you it’s a tricky thing to live with. I definitely fall more on the western side of the Atlantic, whereas Jessa from “Girls” falls more to the eastern side. And “NO!” it doesn’t count if you’re Gwenyth Paltrow and can pull off a quite good English accent for a movie and then sound funny and all Katherine Hepburn, New Englandy from then on. That’s different. That’s affected. I’m talking spending your formative years regularly hearing two totally different accents, and genuinely ending up with a bit of a mess yourself.

It makes me genuinely feel for the Beckham boys. I suspect Posh and Becks have recently relocated back to England for one very good reason: so their sons stop sounding like American surfer boys. Isn’t that weird? That the sons of two such British icons speak with American accents (Check out Youtube). How is their oldest son, Brooklyn, going to be taken seriously if he pursues his football dreams, and turns out to be really talented, IF he sounds American. People aren’t going to take very kindly to that I suspect, especially if he wants to play for the English Premier League. It would be like he was somehow less the son of that great English football player, if he doesn’t sound like him.

Steve thinks it’s cute how I say certain words and tells me not to worry about what happens to my accent when we move to England, but knowing me, I’ll agonize over it. Bloody hell!